Real Estate Information Archive

One of the amazing things I find with folks is that they have not drilled down to their “Big WHY” and thus they fall short in all they wish to do.

By this I mean, WHY do you want to do something?

Many times we say I want a nice house. But WHY? I want a successful career. But WHY? I want to volunteer. But WHY? I want to make a difference. But WHY?

Many people set goals for their careers or for their retirement (or second half as we refer to it) but over 95% of the folks I come in contact have a hard time answering the WHY. And for many of them they don’t ever get to their big goal because they have not identified their real WHY. The WHY is WHY we do something, the energy behind the goal? I feel that in today’s goal oriented world that the setting of goals is easy but the WHY is difficult. Sort of like when you run into someone and ask how they are- standard answer “fine”. But are they really? How do you answer the question when asked? Surfacy but not real.

One of the things that I worked with people was to drill down into WHY they want something. WHY do they want that goal? And what I found is that sometimes it takes asking the WHY question 15 or more times. In fact in one of my classes I asked a student as part of an exercise if we could drill down their goal. It took asking WHY over 50! times to find out WHY they wanted the goal. And the surprising part was that the original goal was not going to help get them to answer, to fulfill their WHY!

If your goal in your second half is to make a difference in a certain area, maybe you know where or what. But then the question is WHY? WHY do you want that? Then WHY do you want that and so on till we find out what the goal really is for YOU! What will having those goals do for you.

Each of us is wired differently and today many times people want to give the right answer or the politically correct answer. What I have found is that when people connect with WHY they want something, WHY they want to do something then they are more likely to achieve it. It is so easy to come upon challenges, to get off track, to have others tell us no, to have society tell us no. However if you are clear about your wants, clear about WHY you want it, the world is yours. God gave us the greatest gift of all, the ability of choice. He only wants the best for us and he knows your WHY. The question is do if you are clear and you can articulate it to others then you will achieve it.

My recommendation is to take your goal – whether it’s in work, family, your second half (retirement) or whatever it is and ask yourself WHY do you want it. What does getting that, doing that do for you? Then ask WHY that is important to you. Then ask about your answer WHY that is important to you.

To truly make a difference in all you do, figure out your BIG WHY.

Ready Ready Ready Aim Aim Aim

Do you ever wonder how some people have all the “luck”?

An idea you had but never acted on suddenly becomes the next IPhone App or million dollar idea?

The lady you wanted to ask out but never did for a year suddenly is dating and engaged to be married?

The building or property you wanted to buy suddenly is worth 3 x's as much overnight due to new way of looking at it.

Your plans to travel the world, to live, to fulfill your bucket list are now in danger of not being fulfilled because you are in your 50’s or 60’s or later and you don’t have the health to do it.

I could go on but as I go through life talking to people about what they want to do in retirement or their second half, they say that they have been studying it, getting ready to get ready, and getting ready to action. But, it’s not the right time, the money is not there, they don’t know how, what if I fail are just some of the things that can get in the way of you having all you want! Of doing all you can or want.

God has blessed us. He only wants the best most abundant life for us. But we refuse to be all we can be (thought USA army had it right with that slogan vs. one they replaced it with “Army of One”. Thank goodness after millions spent they realized it wrong and went with “Army Strong”. But I diverge).

God wants us to make a difference, to be all we can be, to help others. But we don’t have to give up our career to do this. We can have parallel paths; we can still have our career and still be working on the giving back part of our lives. The worst thing though that we can do is to do nothing. When you have an idea you need to act. Will you fail? Will you succeed? Don’t know until you take that first step. John Maxwell wrote a great book about this, Failing Forward. I remember a discussion with him when he shared that he gave the first draft to his wife and asked for her thoughts. She read it and then asked, where was second half of the book!! He has a great quote: "If you always do what you've always done, then you will always get what you've always gotten."  So if you do nothing then you will always get nothing. How do you want your retirement to look? How do you want the story of your life to be? What did you do to make a difference?

I love what Peter Drucker said:

"One of the greatest problems people have with failure is that they are too quick to judge isolated situations in their lives and label them as failures.  Instead, they need to keep the bigger picture in mind."

"The better a man is, the more mistakes he will make, for the more new things he will try.  I would never promote to a top-level job a man who was not making mistakes... otherwise he is sure to be mediocre."  -Peter Drucker

You see Drucker said that you need to go out and try. Not plan, not think but go and do.

So what do you want at work? What do you want at home? What do you want in your relationship with God? What do you want to do in the second half of your life? Nothing will happen if you are firmly stuck. I see many people who are standing still and want to run, want to do so much. They have dreams and they plan but they fail to do the most important thing. Take action. Put one foot in front of the other. Move! We are designed to be moving forward. God has so much that he wants for all of us. But we have to want it. We have to act.

So what action will you take? Will you stop getting ready ready ready and aiming aiming aiming and just fire! Move. What’s the worst that could happen? What’s the best can happen? Who knows but I know this, without taking any action then you will still be where you are today. The question is, do you want more? If so then what? Pickup one of those great books you bought and start to read it (try my friend Lloyd Reeb's Book, Success to Significance as it rocks).  Go attend that class you signed up for. Go for a bike ride on the bike you bought 6 months ago. Ask that person you have been thinking of asking on a date. Meet a banker to discuss your million dollar idea.

It does not matter what you do but do something. It’s time to move from the getting ready, the aiming, and the planning and take action. Think of all that could happen. Think of the difference you could make either in 1 person’s life, your community, your nation or globally. Anything is possible for you, the question is are you going to take that first step. I don’t know how it will turn out but if you do something then something will happen. If you want different you have to be different and take action.

As we move from Success to significance in Halftime you may think God wants you to do one thing but when you go to do it you find the organization does not want you or need you. So now what?

Many times we think that we are hearing God and he is telling us where to serve. I think the important thing to remember is that God may have more than one plan for you and that’s ok. Another thought is, are you really hearing what he has to say?

Are you living Gods plan is the message we get, yet sometimes it’s not that clear. Many times it takes patience, listening and reading to truly find out what God wants for you. And it’s ok to try one area or group and come up short. The thing is not to give up hope because it did not work the first time. God didn’t say it would be easy, he just said it would be worth it

God wants all of us to make a difference, to move from Success to Significance (Coach Jeff Spadafora wrote a great blog about this) but along the way as we try and embrace new way of thinking, a new way of living, we may get mixed messages. God may be speaking to you (or you may think what you are hearing is God) and tell you that your talents and your passions and your gifts are needed in a certain place or a certain organization. But what if you go to them and say here I am and they say no? Should you give up? Should you go back to success back to what was easy or comfortable for you? Should you give up? I believe it’s a test.  A test of your heart and that’s all God is after. Many times we want to take our strengths and our gifts and what we like to do and use that for God’s will. We think that all organizations, all communities would want to open us with welcome arms. What if its no? Or ‘let us think about it’? Or ‘it’s out of my hands and I have to talk to rest of team’? Frustration can happen. But where do you turn? Back or away? Or do you go forward but in a different direction.

I had the experience of going through this. Got all the dominos to line up so I could leave success and embark on a journey of significance. I took the time to attend classes, got training and followed what I was told to do. Then no was answer. Maybe help us here. But then that turned out to be a no. WOW what a shock! All that I had been looking forward to after I retired was gone, all the planning, all the work and now no option, door closed, don’t come back soon. So now what? Where do I go?  I realized that if you’re not careful the Significant part of life can be affected by the same politics that affected the success part of your life. But do you get stuck? As I am writing this I am hearing the chorus and final lyrics in the U2 Song

U2 Lyrics _ Stuck in a Moment

“You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

And if the night runs over
And if the day won't last
And if your way should falter
Along this stony pass

It's just a moment
This time will pass”

Great lyrics and a great message. “This time will pass”.  Maybe I am just stuck in “this time”? Or just plain stuck?

So now what? Do I change me, do I stay stuck or do I sit back and ask the BIG question, again.

Why am I here?

What does God REALLY want me to do with my life?

I sat down and asked my wife Susan for her thoughts. She then reminded me of what’s gone on in the last 6 months of my life. Of how I have connected a friend who was a songwriter in Canada and a missionary who I was friends with in Romania together, to create a new Christian CD and to record some great songs. Or how I worked with a local church to design a new strategy for growth. Or how I made a great friend with great skills who has had reoccurring cancer and had stopped dreaming and had put all his dreams on the back burner in order to just survive. To get him to dream to think what IS possible and to introduce him to a partner and mentor of mine who wants to share his story with thousands at a sales retreat and to help get his business to a new level.  And to pay him for this. I am working with him on thinking of what he really wants for him and his family.  Or how when visiting with friends who had some financial challenges and had lost hope that through discussion, planning and prayer they were able to turn their business around in just 30 days and now are thriving and have reconnected with the lord. There are others like this. I had thought all was lost but she reminded me that along the way that when a door closed to me many more opened up. That maybe God had a different plan than I thought.

 So for me maybe it’s not a big project. Or just not now. Maybe it’s not a big mission. Or just not now.

But along the way the side benefit of waiting and hearing and being patient God has shown me that I can have significance by connecting people. People who have talent, who have stopped dreaming and stopped living and connecting them with others and most of all God who can show them what is possible. To show us all what is possible. Maybe my job in my second half is to help people who are stuck. Good thing God decided to help me as I was stuck!